This newsletter was born in December 2018. 

No one is sure from whence it arrived or for what purpose, but we have decided to continue acquiescing to its incessant hunger for good new words rather than risk learning what would happen if we stopped.

Issues are released on a weekly basis, or sometimes even not that. 

Mailing List / Submissions

Want to be added to the mailing list? Tell us how we've changed your life for the better or otherwise? Report nefarious activity? Inquire about contributing juicy content? Drop a line below or scream into the night sky.

Contribution guidelines: literally anything, clearly.

Length typically runs about 1-2 standard google docs pages but shorter or longer within reason are fine. Topics range from very serious to profoundly non-serious. We won't publish anything particularly problematic but that's obviously subjective so check in if you're not sure. So yeah I guess what I'm saying is just let it rip.

Content can also be submitted here via pseudonym and published to a Stall Graffiti segment of upcoming issues if you prefer to remain anonymous. This could include stories, articles, questions, requests, drawings, fanfic, whatever.

Note: sometimes the intake form can be finicky depending on the browser or app or personal karma. Name and email are not required fields. If easier, reach out directly to AVeryImportantNewsletter@gmail.com

Donate

Turns out y'all were so bored and tore through so much bandwidth one week that it would've crashed the site to publish again, so I, a Businesssmn, purchased some extra stuff from webnode to keep things fancy, official, and extant.

If you feel the holy spirit moving you with somber organ music, you can make a PayPal donation below to show support and help keep things running. Donations will be split evenly between the week's contributors. 

I've seen other sites I like call this the "buy me a drink" button, but the Newsletter team isn't currently drinking because we're collectively trying to get super ripped as a joke, so maybe it's more of a "buy my cat protein powder" button.

Update: we're very much drinking again because *gestures broadly* but I still love this picture.

Perks

Donors are entitled to any and all of:

• A place on our sponsorship wall of fame!
• I'll think about you in the shower!
• A custom poem or prophecy from one of the Newsletter staff (include your email or a way to reach you!)
• Make a request!

Sponsorship Wall of Fame and Notoriety and Beauty

Kiersten F.

Natalie H.

Jenna H.

Alex gave me a dollar so technically A Newsletter is now proudly sponsored by Pearce the Band, supporters of the arts and also the art itself, like a sexy snake eating its own delicious tail. Listen to them wherever you listen to music.

Also, I gave the dollar right back, making Brewmaster-level contributor Alex Speed A Newsletter's first professional freelance writer. Find his technically professional work in, I don't know, most issues.

If you would also like to give or receive a nickel in order to, say, pad your resume with light but technically real online publishing work, our coffers are always open and willing.